Do you really want your goals to come true?
My second book How to Make Your Dreams Come True seemed to be a book that people either loved or hated. It never sold particularly well, although many people thought it was brilliant. In the end I came to the conclusion that one of the main problems was the title. It didn't have the immediate "yes, I need that!" factor of my first book Get Everything Done and Still Have Time to Play.
In fact the more I thought about it the more I realised that people would be very ambivalent about the idea of making their dreams come true. Dreams are funny things. I think we are always haunted by the fairy stories we heard as children in which people are given three wishes which always end in disaster. "Be careful of what you wish for - you might get it".
Some dreams are nightmares, and some dreams we suspect would be nightmares if they came true. It may be great to have dreams of being rich and famous and surrounded by lovers, but what's your spouse or partner going to think about it if it starts to turn into reality - or your friends - or your parents? In fact do you really want the responsibility of being rich and attractive all the time? Look at the mess so many "celebrities" get themselves into.
So what can we do about our "guilty" dreams? If we try to turn them into goals, they are just going to become "guilty" goals. If we are guilty about them then we will be half hearted. Yet they probably contain some very important truths about the things that we value so it would be a shame to just sit on them for ever and feel that we had wasted our lives.
One exercise I've always found valuable in this sort of situation is to examine the negative feelings we have about a goal. It's a good idea first of all to examine why we want the goal in the first place. So let's have a look at a fairly common goal: "I want to start my own business". First list all the reasons why you want to do this. Then list all the reasons why you don't want to do it. The two lists might come out something like this:
I want to have my own business because:
